Ihsan was never about the result

That’s right. In case you thought it was about creating the best possible outcome, you’ve been thinking about it wrong. Ihsan was always about intention, effort, the process.

Growing up, I always remember thinking that to do something well was to produce something to the highest possible standard, with the end product being the best thing you could produce. Instead of being motivated, I was discouraged. And for years it continued. I’d work hours, days, intensely, burning out, just to hate the end result. It was never what I imagined. My mind and what it fathomed would be unlimited, but my skills, resources and knowledge were hitting the ceiling of their limits.

I thought of ihsan in much the same way. Ibadah, creative pursuits, my personal goals. I felt that if I didn’t have perfect concentration in my Salah, I’d failed, and it wouldn’t be accepted. If I didn’t do dhikr with my whole heart and presence, it wasn’t worth doing at all. If I didn’t create flawless, emotive illustrations, then they weren’t worth making. On goes the list…

Until recently. Having a child meant my only option was to be consistent, and accepting mediocre at times. Sometimes 20% of my best was my best, and I had to accept it. I realised Allah always accepted my efforts, and if they weren’t consistent, hopeful, sustainable and genuine, He would perfect the result for me. Small and consistent has gotten me much farther than monumental effort with long periods of burnout.

So I started again. I’ve started posting, sketching daily, working on a piece a week instead of trying to finish one in a day (and inevitably failing or ending up with a subpar product). I’ve started reading 5 pages a day of Quran instead of a juz a day for three days, then not touching the mushaf for weeks. Walking 30 mins daily instead of an hour and not going out for several days. Reading 5 pages a day of a book I love instead of 3 chapters and an abandoned book.

And my life has changed. I know it sounds dramatic, but honestly, my belief in my Creator has only increased, my contentment, my belief in my competence, and the end result. Take care of the process, Allah will take care of the rest.

May Allah give us the ability to do things with ihsan, and grant us success and happiness with it.